...

i am sad

2009-09-08T01:52:00.001-07:00

I don't really know why... but i am sad... i have cried several times today, and i keep feeling lonely. i just want to be held...

hold me, cuddle with me. why is always about sex? I just want a companion. someone who helps be laugh and find adventures...

last night

2009-08-22T13:38:00.001-07:00

I had a dream... it woke me up and i could get back to sleep... it was about jen rainbolt.

I don't remember all the details but it was about here sleeping with a guy, It was shortly after we broke-up and i don't know much about him... only that he had 50 million dollars. and was really well off...

It was heart breaking. I was so devastated that i couldn't get back to sleep... i lay mostly awake until my alarm went off. It was a little taste of what jen must have felt from my actions. I know i hurt her... there is nothing i can do to about that... i can only try to repair the damage i have done...

I am well aware how i have treated others... and i am sorry for that.. i am changing my was.. although i have already done a lot of damage...

To all the girls i have loved....

2009-08-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

i am sorry... i have not been myself... i have been a jerk, i have not treated you with respect... of myself for that matter. I have been living like a animal at the whims of his urges.

for this i am sorry. but please don't take this me saying i am sorry for your company. you are finamaldle... and have enjoyed all the time we spend together...

but alas.. i need to be more honest with you and myself! i will not go there anymore... i really want to and i really want to a family, raise our offspring and set out on new adventures...

i need a retreat.. to find myself and revitialist my respect for women... Again i am sorry i have hurt you it was not my intention... just my neglect and self centered attitude.

love and passion

2009-05-01T00:39:00.000-07:00

It is an amazing experience. I never thought anything could be such a sharing experience. A great dinner and a little ice cream w/ strawberries & sherry.

It was great. I really enjoyed the passion and the sharing... i nevered imagined it could be such a wonderful experience. now i know and would love to share again....

the awaited call.

2009-02-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

Well we all have a different perception of a really long time. Yesterday as i was heading out the door for a meeting, i received a call from some one that i have been really wanting to talk with. It was a very acqward conversation, one because it caught me off gaurd, and two because i didn't have time to talk.

It was also as though she had something important she wanted to tell me but didn't know how. It threw me into all kinds of thoughts and different "head spaces" I am excited to hear from here but scared & confused to talk with her.

I said i would call her when i had a little more time, and she said no she will call me? again confusing.... i asked her when and she said later. "Later today, next week, next month," all she would say is soon... after a little more talking she agreed to next week....

So let the waiting return... hopefully she will remember... I have some many things i want to share with her.

missing

2009-02-22T10:57:00.001-08:00

I am so happy to have a puppy again. It is fun to have "some one" to play with all the time. Although, when i was heading home & around family i was reminded that i don't have some one close to me to share this exciting moument.

So needless to say i am missing jen. I don't think it would work out dating her again, but i really really miss her. I miss talking with her, cuddling with her, looking into her eyes... but it will probably be a while before i hear from her again... if ever...

Such is life i guess. Hopefully i can find someone that will challenge, excite, and romance, me as much as i do her.... Basicially someone i love with all my heart, mind, and soul.

final farewell

2009-02-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

Last night jen called me at 12.37am, I was happy to here from her... and i knew why she was calling. We did the how are you doing and how's life...

after the small talk we moved into the real reason. We love each other and can it really work us getting back together? I have been thinking about this a lot. jen is an awesome girl, the most amazing girl i have ever dated. She is smart and intelligent, beautiful, and very very talented, she is a better designer (architecturally) than me. But we are always fighting when we are together... we are constantly at odds. It is as though we are incapiable of fulfilling the other person's needs, hopes and dreams.

I have no idea why. We have a lot of similar goals and can work really well together, but we just don't foster that loving & inspiring environment.

Last night we talked for 2:39:40. There are two options, one we get back together and work it out, or two don't see each other until we are "over" each other. I love jen so much! but I need to have some radical changes for me to get back together. And she doesn't know how or want to try and sweep me off my feet. I did it to her... i waited until she was ready keep talking with her even though she was with another guy, and did all the little stuff... but she is not willing to do that for me... that is what i need.

So last night the decision was reached that jen will "hide" from me until she no long has feelings for me. I don't know if i will ever see her again. I am very sad, she is my best friend. I really connect with justin, but jen is so much closer. I miss her so much. and i still think about her every day.

Such is life... i guess... the heart will heal... eventually and life will carry on... someday i might find a partner... someday...

2009-01-11T13:23:00.001-08:00

well the first time i ever lived with a girl i am dating ended after about a two weeks. It is very sad. I wanted to try and work it out but jen was clearly not interested and i decide it was time to let this one go.

It hurts so much. I was the closer to jen as i have been with any girl, she means so much to me it was really hard to let the relationship disolve... this has been the longest relationship i have had since highschool. a month over a year...

she moved out thanksgiving weekend. We have talked a lot since, partly because she was hanging out with my friends when i wasn't even invited... this was very frustrating.. but we talked about it and now we understand each others views (mostly)

We have been transitioning to the friends relationship. it is hard but not really harder than not talking to her ever again. A small part of me thinks we could have made the relationship work... but then again there were quite a few times when neither of us really payed any attention to the others needs.

It is really sad, but i am happy that she is still a awesome friend and she has helped me (and hopefully with continue to) so many times.

jen's words

2008-11-21T22:53:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation the other day with jen, she told me "your a genuine slut, and that is was i love about you."

It is really hard to take this out of context but... it is mostly about how i am really affectionate... it is both a blessing and a bane. yet just another shade of gray in the world where everyone wants black and white...

a cozy little nest

2008-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

So jen is moving into the boat... i asked her to move in several months after we started dating... but she didn't want to. I was okay with this. Then we went on a huge trip (i had a great time, she thought she was going to die) and we broke up. it ways a turbulent time. well as you can guess we started dating again... and now we are moving in together... or should i say she is moving onto the boat...

I am exicited because cuddle time will increase, but i am nervous because we wouldn't have do it if she wasn't being kicked out of her other place. We still haven't worked through the other issue and i don't think we ever will.... she really can't stand me flirting, (or even talking with some girls) it is always the same conversation and it isn't health... the basicis are:

why do you do it?
i enjoy people.
when you call other beautiful it doesn't mean the same when you say it to me.
i mean it differently when i say it to you.
well i don't like it.
i tired to change but you didn't see any difference and i felt trapped.

so the dilemma is jen doesn't like me to flirt at all and it feels terrible going against my nature.

i am not sure how this will play out but i am very anxious about it....

it seems like forever...

2008-05-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

It had been about a week and a half since i left seattle. I can't believe how long it seems going without seeing jen... that is all i am going to say.

i can't believe it

2007-11-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

So about 4-5 months ago i met this girl. she gave me her phone # & I called her. but when she finally got back to be she said she was going to try & work it out with her boyfriend...

Well this past weekend. We started dating... but it doesn't stop there. she is the one. This is the girl i am going to spend the rest of my life with. It feels so surreal to say this but it is true. everything has just lined up.

burning man

2007-09-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

So i had a great time at burning man...

the weirdest part is that i was expecting a open barter system. it was more a free gift system. i was not that interesting to people until after i had some tricket necklasses... they people would talk to be. it was weird. but i still had a lot of fun. and if i find my camera i will definatly post some pictures.

giving up?

2007-08-22T13:26:00.001-07:00

well the other day i said i was going to give up girls for a bit... but that didn't work... they come to me... and well how can i say no to beautiful women?

the perfect girl

2007-08-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

so the other day i was hanging out with a group of my friends. So this girl walks up and she is beautiful! not just cute, but really really beautiful, confident, down-to-earth, unassuming, and a good aura. We get to talking, and she is smart, funny, thoughtful, and nice. We are hanging out a little bit having a good time, when this other girl walks up & shatters my wonderful disillusion... it is her girlfriend...

what is the point?

2007-06-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

do you ever wonder what is the point? what we are doing here... it can be easy.. to live... or complex ... to help the universe evolve into something greater... or maybe we are just a giant computer who's task is to answer the ultimate question.

Life is weird or crazy..... and even normal.. but what does that mean? there is a lot of shit going down, and sometimes i wonder am i really making a difference? will it really matter? if we F*** up this world too much i am sure "mother earth" will just kick us off. and we all end up the same in the end... dead that is... is it really a bad thing if we grow an extra arm or go blind half-way through life?

I am sure some of you are thinking about religion right now. But the same holds true... to do god's will? that is a funny thing to say... let's follow an idea we can't comprehend and do it's will... does that mean he needs minions to do his work? what work is that? is it a struggle of good and evil? how do you know what side you are on?

think about this, it you are trying to help some one off the train, but as the grab for your hand you are momentarily distracted & move just enough so they miss your hand, this causes them to slip & fall, and as they fall the person hits their head & dies... are you good or evil? you action lead to their death. it is the another take on the ends justify the means... and leads me to another cliche - the road to hell is paved with good intentions...

ah... the finer point of consciences thought

thinking of you...

2007-06-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

yesterday i walked into the grocery store and smelled the sweet fragrance of the peaches. I couldn't resist. it draws me in and I had to buy several suculant peaches. the peaches were on the firm yeah soft. the perfect time to eat them. As soon as i could i bit into one of them... it was so heavenly & juicy. soft and delicious. it was my own peice for nirvana...

girls....

2007-05-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

Well bummer. the other day i met a beautiful girl and we talked for a bit. It was great & when i asked for here number she was excited & gave it to me. HOT DAMN! i called her and the response i got was... i have a busy week. I will call you next week.

Well she did call... although she said she decided to not break-up with her boyfriend... BUMMER! oh well at least she is willing to become a friend... whatever that means...

on the plus side i did have a great time hanging out with Becky.

sweet rewards...

2007-04-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

well i don't know how it happened. but it did. a nice dinner (which i didn't cook), a nice walk, a bottle of wine, and relaxing evening. hmm.. i guess it counts as a date, even though i didn't know it... maybe that is why i haven't been on a date lately. i am just clueless.

oh well i am still enjoying life! and hopefully everyone around me is too. They seem like they are...

something new...

2007-04-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well i have moved to a new slip & love it. The next thing i am going to try is having a roomate.

although my boat can sleep 6 people it is cozy. on the plus side the roomate is a girl on the other hand we are not going to date. although she is cute...

which lead me to this realization last night. It is enevitable that we will see each other naked. the boat is small and well it's small. i don't mind if she doesn't. so we will see.

the other thing i realized is dating is going to be a little different. not only will the roomate know who i am dating but when/ if we get it on. and vise versa... although i doubt she will bring any guys home. hmm... i will keep you all posted....

a night of partying

2007-02-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Wow what a way to end a ski trip.

The whole group wanted to end with a bang so we drove to kamloops, B.C. and went out for a night on the town. We started with dinner at Earl's. It was pretty good we had a couple pictures of beer & then we took a cab to down town... we ended up at players. and started really dancing!

as the night progressed i started dancing with this really cute girl. and it was going really well chatting & dancing... a little making out. I asked if she would like to hang out a little more.... and she said it would be fun but her mom is at the bar too and she has to take care of her....

but that wasn't the end of the evening. we made out a little more and talked.. when the bar closed we finally found her mom... she was drunk & wanted to get some food... so we hunt down some food in the form of a pizza stand.

while waiting in line there are two guys who start to have a pissing match... (both drunk) one is about 70 lbs bigger than me and the other is a scrawny 19 year old. well the big guys get his pizza and starts to walk away... then the kid says, "Hey i thought you wanted to fight!" well of course the guy turns around & nails the kid right in the kisser... i jump in an pull the big guy away and let him cool off a little & he starts to walk away...

do you remember me saying that the girls mom was drunk? well she starts to say something to this guy... luckily i was able to squelcy her enough to keep anything more from happening.

all and all it was a fun night.... maybe i will here from her?

story time..

2007-01-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

the dinner party was at blast! A bunch of guy came over & we had a great dinner. Then came story time. I told the story about obscene art glass (from work) and then we visited the website that i stumbled upon after searching obscene.

so here it is... I read this story outloud ( i was also under the influence ) but the story read like a penthouse letter. It was hilarious.

here are some of the pictures of the girls...

cute & sassy...

there are two invisible spots where her boobs are (suppose to be) ....

it was a fun night...

damn it

2007-01-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

i had a good time in grand rapids. it was fun to see friends again. I even mad out with two different girls. It was fun, but nothing over the top. Just wanted to share.

ackward...

2006-11-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

well i no longer have a girlfriend... it was a short lived affair. but now we are "friends" which is fine... although she doesn't want me to give the backrubs or shoulder rub any more... (which i can understand) it can be an intimate thing. And it might confuse the lines of "friends" but the part that really get me is i dropped her of to work the other day and she kissed me goodbye. WTF? i think that is a lot more intimate than a backrub. I don't know what is going on. Make up your mind. ARG!!!!

i fought the law...

2006-09-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

and the law won... gravity that is... monday night after a full day of sailing, i was taking care of some boat maintenance... (pumping out the head) and as i am getting ready to put the pump away gravity takes an anusual hold on me. (at least that is what it felt like) and i topple over.

oh my god did that hurt! i even cried a little bit. on the plust side it might turn into a nice scar.

here is the picture... i hope you didn't just eat.

??

2006-09-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

i forgot to tell you that when i was coming home from partying all night and sleeping on the trampoline... i almost fell on these.....

those are skimpy red lace panties... just thought you would all like to b kept in the loop...

and now i can block it from my memory forever!

the night is young

2006-08-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

i started at noon drinking... and well i didn't stop until around midnight or 1am... as i road home i decided to stop at t friends house...

we talked for a bit, smoked some happy green plant... and then i proceeded to fall asleep on the trampoline...

what a great night. the only thing that could have made it better... is some hot girly action. to get my satifaction.

i live in the hood

2006-07-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

i was cooking dinner tonight... and i heard the sounds that are becoming fimilar.... gun shots. followed by sirens... what a great place?

fourth time is a charm

2006-07-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

well this is the first time thes has even happen to me... i one flush just didn't cut it... so i tried again... it to four time!!! i can't believe it... i had no idea. damn that is disguisting! but i still wanted to share.

what was that...

2006-07-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

as some of you know i living a nice gated marina...

the other day as i was drifting of too sleep i heard a noise... at first i was thinking... hmm.. that might have been a gun shot... but probably was just a car backfiring... so i start to drift off to sleep ... but before i can i here the retaleation... of gun shots... yeah i live in a neighbor hood were there is gun play. but yeah that i why there is a barbed wire fence right??

holy shit... where the fuck am i???

2006-06-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

this is what i was thinking at 4 am friday night. i have no clue how i got where i was. the only thing i can figure is that i wandered off again... oh and did i mention there is several hours that i can't remember... i really need to stop drinking like that.

how it all started....
thrusday night i was listening to the radio, and actually won ticket to a concert. A jazz concert. it was pretty cool... so i called everyone.. and i mean everyone.. no one would go to the concert with me. so i went by myself. i was sitting waiting for the concert to start and decided to get some food... i ordered a salad.. an hour later the bartender comes back and says "you order a ceaser salad right? well we don't have any lettuce." so i order a sandwich and they buy it for me... then as the food comes out a guys is eyeing my food and says "can i make you a deal? i will give you $5 for half." oh course i gave him half. Well i continue drinking and waiting.. i met the trumpet player for the bad. pretty cool guy. (www.thericharmstrong.net)

well after a night of drinking and having fun.. hit on a couple girls and get talking... it was a lot of fun. well the next thing i now i am in the loading docks.. looking at a train going by. i have no idea how i got there... people i met at the bar was going to give me a ride home... but i lost a couple hours... i can say that i don't like doing that... i really have to remember not to drink like that any more..

but damn that was a fun time.

-

girls? WTF

2006-05-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

well i have do idea what is going on.... but nothing is really new there...

do i come on too strong or just anxious and omni-present? hmm... oh well. i am still having a great time in seattle... just trying to meet as many friends as possible.

i like spending time with her... she is jsut "busy" oh well take it slow right? i don't want to be patience all the time... i want it (her) NOW...

okay i will calm down... a little.

SHE IS A CUTE!!!

2006-05-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

and she likes sailing, hiking, skiing, boarding.... oh and did i mention she works at a gear shop???

damn i am one heck of a lucky guy. i move to seattle and have companies fighting over me. I have met & became friends with a whole bunch of awesome people, bought a yatch and now i have a girl... damn i love my life!!! and isn't she sexy?

i know i am bragging ... but she is damn SEXY! ahh... seattle is the place for me!

life on the water!

2006-05-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

this past weekend i brought the boat down to southern lake washington. it was a awesome cruise, even though we weren't able to sail much. I am really happy that i bought the boat. it is a lot of fun, and i have hardly sailed it yet. i really enjoy sleeping on it too.. there is a gently rocking and i have been sleeping REALLY well. not to mention the view! i walk out the door and i have a million dollar view (litterlly, i look out at mercer island where house i am sure are easily over a million for the water front). i am still a little leary about sailing by myself but i will shortly be comfortable to do it. it is going to be a blast! i can't wait.

this weekend i spent most of the time organizing & sorting through all the stuff that is on the boat. i discovered where the first aid kit is and now i have a good idea what tools i have aboard. and i found the flare gun!

i am hopeing to be able to post pictures really soon! there are some awesome ones from the sail down to lake washington and the sunset & rainbow while on lake union!

when the boat is a rock'n

2006-05-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

damn what a wonderful weekend! I am "officially" living on the boat now. it is great. i even brought a date to see it! enough said.

Damn fucking roommate!

2006-05-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

i can understand wanting a "tidy" house. but this is fuck rediculas. i had left my little bag of "zen party mix" on the table and he fucking moves it! not say into the kicten or in my only fucking cupboard but on top of the book shelf hidden behind my black pullover. if you have a problem with my shit being somewhere ask me to move it! i am paying rent you stupid fucker.

you just don't get it, you are brillant... to quote you directly, "i have citizenship in two countries and don't vote in either... it just doesn't matter." well put my obtouse closed-minded "land manager" you are fablous piece of... well i think i have made my point...

i will be glad when i don't have to deal with him any longer.

captain underpants

2006-05-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

yesterday i put my underwear on backwards... it was 12 hours later when i noticed.

dirty little scerects

2006-04-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

what do dreams mean? i dreamt that i was flying and i could only take off if i would run fast enough. what does it mean?

some dreams are reoccuring... others slip away before i can remember them. but the ones that really make me stop and think are the ones where you can't tell if they are a dream or a memory. the other day it took me a while to remember that i dreamed the toast was moldy and that is actually was perfectly fine.

which makes you wonder is dreams are just memories we get confused? or maybe it is something that we want to have happen to us? hmmm... so if some one tell you they had a dream out you... what does that mean? i can only guess since they didn't want to describe it. oh did i mention she is a really cute girl?

although she is not the one who flashed me the other night... that wasn't a dream and it was really beautiful... oh did i mention it was at my neighbors party... and well... enough said.

the deal at the corner

2006-04-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

seattle... it is a big city and i am learning a lot... like how to do a drug deal. waiting for the bus to the airport the two guys next to me had a very shady deal... i am sure it was illegal. they were litterily standing right next to me. Ah life in the big city.

i was also met another new friend. she is cute and really likes to bike. so i am excited. play time! go me..

although i did let an great opportunity slip away. there was an incredibly gourgous girl we started talking... she was really sweet too... new to seattle (9 months) ... but i didn't ask for her number before we parted... i am upset with myself... but atleast i am getting quicker and hopefully i will learn from this "mistake" or lack of action rather.

the life of a superhero

2006-04-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

have you ever had one of those days... where the world just bows at your feet. everything falls into and girls give you their phone number? so what super power do i have? well that is sometime i can't develge to any of you... at least not yet. i am still working on developing the powers... although i will vow to use my powers for good and not evil... unless it is really entertaining... or maybe if it will make a good story... or if i am bored... so it looks like i might be doing more "evil" than good.

but can you honestly say that if you had any superhuman powers you would use them to fight crime? we all think we would like to do that.. but face it most of us just don't like fighting crime, hence the reason we are not cops.

forshadow...

2006-04-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

this morning i was woken with a phone call... which was right in the middle of a dream.

i was fighting/battleing with a sound gun. but i was deft. well my best friend is in a tank which is in a bunker. that is when i see the sound wave (which is the first sounds wave i have seen, the rest were invisible) it blows out the windsheild and send glass everywhere. one of the largers shards is sticking out of my best friends neck. as she pulls it out she realizes that it nicked her jugular. she says " umm... a little help here... **fade out**

next we are in the hospital, don't know if she is alive or not. and when i get to her room i see, she is fine... with lots of bandages... on her back? weird. and she is now deft. i start signing to her (but i don't really know signlanguage) as i am about to leave she leans over to whisper something... but i am deft... ***phone rings***

good morning SEATTLE!!

dang... is it really that easy?

2006-04-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

the other day i was just sitting checking my e-mail on the computer... well a girl walks in with a service dog and we start talking. she is really nice and we chat for a bit. i realize what time it is a have to leave. well i ask her why she chose seattle, her response was it is a long complicated story. I reall causally say well i guess you will have to tell me some other time, and she reaches over adn gives me her phone number! damn! i don't know what Ha was talking about the "northwest chill" i have been able to find a fair amount of people to hang out with.

and yeah i am really enjoying and falling in love with seattle.

a sign?

2006-03-03T04:00:00.000-08:00

i had a dream the other night. It was about living at my parents house. they were asking for rent and i was very adamently telling them no. expecailly since i have been building the entertainment stand for them. apparently i have some hostility toward them because i was really yelling and quite mad.

so it think this means i a extremely ready to move out. which should come as not surprise. Only two more weeks and i should be on my way out west.

crazier things have happened....

2006-02-28T05:21:00.000-08:00

but it is still strange. do you remeber the girl i went camping with and then disappeared... melody... well she called be on Valentines day, it was wierd. i don't know what her intentions were... but if she provides me with a place to stay i think i am going to go and visit her. oh did i mention that after "dating" me she dated a girl? and that is who she is living with... well it is a confusing subject and i don't know how i feel about it. i think she is a bit self-absorbed... but that could be just because of the way she treated me. hmm... whatever... life is full of unexpected twist
& turns...

another example is me still in grand rapids!!! i am ready to move... i have been ready for quite a while... i am starting to get snippy & frustrated. i have snapped at my family a couple times just because i am in a pissy mood and dont want to be living...**shudder** at my parents house... yes i did admit that... i am living at my parents house. it was only supposed to be for a week or so, but it will have been almost two months, yeah TWO frickin months. so you can understand why i am anxious to "get out of dodge" so to speak.

the secert lifes of the unemployed.

2006-02-10T08:28:00.001-08:00

The other day i went out to Billy's for 80's night with mark... my unemployed crony. it was a great time! i was enjoying myself A Lot and i spotted this beautiful girl... well i actually started talking to her... i was about to get he number when her friend came and got her... i don't know if it was a friend "saving" her or if it was just a terrible coincidence... i guess i will never know... but at least it was fun (for me and think her) to chat for a little bit. and yes there was libiation involved.

Weds... more fun with mark... we went to gardella's... then bar hopping... i was really cheap beer at gardella's @2.50 for a 22-24 oz mug... well i think i will just end that story there... needless to say it was a lot of fun...

here are some pictures from chicago... the ones that i am not going to post anywhere else.
Pink mono Cone????

food any one??? this is how a night ends after wassailling...

we are still walking...

the next morning... well afternoon actually.... we missed the chinese new year parade... but at least we go a calender for Matt & Kelley

weird things continue to happen

2006-01-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

well... my dream job fell through... i am sad... and my ex-girlfriend is dating a girl... well life that is life i guess. what am i to do. hopefully seattle is welcoming.

Are you still my friend??

2005-12-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

i have noticed lately that peole ingeneral have a hard time returning phone calls. which is something you don't really notice until that one person you want to talk to doesn't return you messages.... then you notice everyone else and bamb you are lonely... what the FUCK!!!

i could understand if there was some altercation.. but usually there is nothing, well that i am aware of anyway... hmm.. makes you think... or at least me...

views

2005-12-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

the world is not what it seems. there is a lot of bullshit in this world... i have this question.. .what is the real problem with sex outside of marrage? if both people on consenting and not what to expect, then why is it ammoral? isn't it a sharing of love? WTF? these are the things i think about when i am sitting on the porcelain.

the other thing i have noticed is that girls play as many "games" as guys. an example is when someone says "i will call you" it really doesn't mean they will..... it is more, hey you are alright maybe if our paths cross again that would be cool... life is weird! but i enjoy the ride.

welcome...

2005-12-15T15:00:00.000-08:00

this is the "secret" blog... it take the place of an older pseudo blog. It is were i share my rants and frustrations about the world. and sometimes share those deep dark secrects that i keep hidden within the dusty corners of my mind, soul, & heart.

Of course sometimes i just am bored and make it up... but fact or fiction it is still a thought of mine...